themuseabandonsyou | Deerington IC Inbox

He's killed most things, at this point.

[Well, not animals. He's very, very fond of the animals.]

... It's just... the way his kind are made. They're huge, and they're celestial, and in order to walk the earth itself, they need human bodies. And for angels especially, they often need, um... particular bloodlines. Families that are predestined to be perfect hosts. Otherwise, a lot of humans will eventually fall apart under the strain. [He quiets, looks down, fingers curling a bit more tightly around the phone.] I was born to be his vessel. He'd spent a lot of time back home trying to get his hands on me.

Oh, [ says Orpheus, trying to take all of that in. A celestial being that can't just take on a mortal form as he pleases, like the gods of Orpheus's world can, but has to steal someone else's body. And not just anyone's, but someone born specifically for him. ]

That... sounds terrible. And you couldn't just refuse? [ He assumes that would be too simple. If all it would've taken to stop someone as cruel as the archangel was refusing to let him have an Earthly form in the first place, then who wouldn't? ] Or did he lie about what he was going to do? I know angels are supposed to be the nice ones, according to some people.

[ According to Michael, who admittedly at the time was having a bit of a crisis over whether he was inherently evil for being a demon. ]

[Bitter-voiced:]

Angels are dicks. Mostly.

[That 'mostly' is tacked on only because Anna and Castiel come to mind (and even then, Anna ended up turning, too; he couldn't really... blame her, though). But the rest of them...? He could pitch them all into the ocean.]

He had to have my consent, to possess me; I have to say yes. I didn't, for a long time, but... he had a lot of ways of, uh — of wearing me down, I guess you could say. [He bites his nail, growing quiet for a moment as a wave of memories wash over him. Dark hotel rooms, angry hunters, Jessica's (Lucifer's) ice-cold hand pressing against his cheek.] ... Angels are notoriously good at getting what they want.

Oh. That's a shame. [ Angels being dicks, he means. Not that the rest of it isn't also a shame, technically, but it's kind of an understatement. ]

I probably can't even imagine what he did to get you to agree, [ says Orpheus, quietly. Sam - or, the Archangel - only seemed passingly familiar with Orpheus's situation, and he still managed to be plenty creative in tormenting him. If he'd been watching Sam his whole life... ] I'm sorry. No one deserves to have their fate tied up with someone like that.

[I probably can't even imagine what he did to get you to agree. The shame and guilt that crosses Sam's face when Orpheus speaks is probably enough of a response. Years of history, none of it good, paints him with an aura of weariness.

But at the apology, Sam perks, looks - a little baffled, before he chuckles.]

... You might be one of the first people to say that.

Thanks.

[He bites his lip, quiet for a moment.]

I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to stop him from hurting you. I tried; I swear, I did.

Really? [ That comes as a bit of a surprise to Orpheus. It seems obvious to him? How could anyone deserve having their body stolen, much less by someone like that? How could anyone be so cruel as to act like Sam deserved it when it was something woven into his fate since before he was born? ]

I believe you. And I don't blame you for what happened. I don't really know how possession works where you come from, because it sounds sort of different than what I'm used to? But it doesn't sound like it's any easier to control, having an entire other being in your head instead of just receiving visions or impulses.

Yeah...

I guess that's the hard part. Trying to explain how possession works...

[He swallows at the feeling of memories descending on him. Anti-memories, they feel like. Memories where he's nothing; where he's doing nothing; not speaking, not hearing, not feeling. It makes him feel cold all over again. Maybe that's just Lucifer, pushing back against Sam's control again.]

I wasn't even able to see or hear anything for years, back home. Not really. Just, uh... bits and pieces. Echoes, or muffled noises. Sometimes I could feel the reverberations... But when an angel possesses you, you're almost always put somewhere else. Unless they let you take the wheel, you're not aware of much.

[ Orpheus listens to Sam's explanation quietly, brows furrowed as he tries to make sense of it. For a moment he doesn't say anything else, just going over all the stories he's ever been told in his head trying to find something to compare it to. ]

I don't think we have anything quite like that, where I come from. That sounds... awful, though. [ Being blinded and deafened and stuck inside your own head like that? Not knowing what the Archangel was getting up to while wearing your face? For years? ] Are you... okay? I know that's - a personal question, but.

[Quiet, he rubs a hand over his face.]

... I'm alive. And in control.

I kind of just work with that, day to day. Makes it a little easier to run a lap than run a mile, I guess.

[That doesn't really answer the question, but it's all Sam's got, right now. He's not even sure he can drum up the energy to speak honestly.]

That makes sense. [ says Orpheus, though he still sounds pretty concerned. It sounds like Sam's still really struggling with something, which is cause to be worried on his behalf by itself, but also - ]

...He's not gone, is he? [ he asks, frowning. ] Is he still - in there with you? Inside your head.

[ It's a guess, but it seems like a reasonable one to Orpheus. The way Sam talks it doesn't seem like he just means he's trying to cope with the aftermath of the Archangel's actions - there's something else he's fighting, too. If the Archangel were somewhere else, though, he'd probably have explicitly warned Orpheus, hence the assumption that Sam's turned the tables on him. ]

[Sam breaths out, nods.]

Yeah. He's still in here.

Still kicking around and angry and making it hard to think. But the death sickness at least is keeping him... a lot easier to maintain. While he's weak like this, we should have enough time to complete something we're working on, to get rid of him.

Oh. That's good? I'm sorry you had to die for it to work out like that, though.

[ Dying here wasn't... quite as bad as it could be, in Orpheus's estimation, but it's still not something he would wish on anyone. ]

What are you going to do? Is there anything I can do to help?

[... You guys always completely throw him off. The idea of people he's hurt asking him if there's anything they can do to help... it kind of leaves him speechless for a minute.]

Orpheus, you've had enough trouble on my account. You don't have to do anything, okay?

[ Orpheus frets for a moment that he's said something wrong here without realizing it, and is about to ask when Sam comes back with his reassurances. ]

I don't have to, but I want to? Keeping the archangel locked away would make this place safer for everybody, and you don't deserve to have to be his sole prison guard all the time either. I don't know what you're planning or if there's anything I can do, but if there is, I want to do it.

[Sam nods, biting his lip. Orpheus is right. It would make the place safer, and so it all makes sense, him wanting to do whatever he could to help out. Sam just honestly... appreciates the thought of it most of all. Years ago, he'd been in desperate need of help. It's good to finally know it's there. For not just giving up on him.

Maybe he's not a lost cause like he thought he was years ago. Months ago.]

I think we've got it figured out.

We'd been working on a spell — I had actually been translating it when, uh... when I started feeling my control slip. But now, it's almost done. And once we can perform it, it should get rid of Lucifer... in theory.

In theory. [ Orpheus parrots. ] Is it just for banishing him? Or is there some kind of price?

[ Medea's magic always seemed to have some toll that needed to be paid to use it. Usually a bloody one. For something big enough to send a creature powerful enough to kill gods away, he imagines there would have to be some cost. ]

... There could be a price, yeah. If the safeguards fail, there could be a rebound of energy. I can't say for sure it's exactly safe for me, but at this point... I would rather make the jump than wait for Lucifer to get strong enough to take over again.

[Besides, Sam thinks he's a very minor sacrifice in the grand scheme of things.

It's all the self-hate. Really makes him fine with jumping into a pit, metaphorical or literal.]

It's at least self-contained. Whatever happens, it's a small enough scale that it won't impact the rest of the town.

[ Orpheus frowns to himself, thinking that over. He doesn't like this. ]

You shouldn't have to suffer even more for something that was forced on you by the Fates, [ he says, quietly. ] I guess I understand, if you're running out of time to find a better solution. But I'm sorry. You don't deserve any of this.

[ He wishes he had some way of making it easier, but all he has is words and that never seems to feel like enough here in this place. ]

I don't think there's anything I can do to help with that. I'm not a sorcerer. But, let me know when it's done? So I know you're okay, so I can help you if you're not.

[Sam lets out a shaky breath, but the smile he offers is more genuine.]

... Thanks, Orpheus. You're a good guy; probably too good, for a place like this.

I'll try to let you know. I might not, um... remember we've met, though. If this all works, the spell should send me back to a time before Lucifer possessed me. My memories of Deerington'll probably be wiped clean.

But if you'd like... after this, when it's all said and done, I could — probably use the friends.

[He was in a really... really bad way, before Lucifer possessed him.

Worse than now, if anyone could believe it. Maybe it was extremely believable, honestly.]

I don't think it matters how good or bad any of us are, if that's even a useful way to think about it in the first place. We're just here, and we have to do our best.

[ But he listens to Sam's explanation carefully, frowning a little and nodding along. ]

That sounds like it'll be kind of difficult. [ Both in the doing of it - messing with time is insanely powerful magic, as far as Orpheus is concerned - and in the consequences. ] You have people who will be around to help you afterwards, when you don't remember what happened, right? Either way, I'd be happy to be be your friend.

[He smiles sadly.]

I do have people. Family.

... I definitely couldn't do this without my brother around.

[Which... learning about the alternate universe... makes it sure sound like that was where they had messed up in the first place. Fighting the devil by yourself? It just... doesn't work, does it? There or here.]

I appreciate it. This place, even with it's dark spots... it's given me a lot more to live for.

That matters a lot.

Oh! That's good, I'm glad you've got someone like that here for you.

[ He's... maybe a little envious, though not in a resentful kind of way. It isn't that he doesn't have very close friends here himself, or that he doesn't appreciate his cousins who are here, but it would be nice to have a familiar face around. He thinks about that for a brief moment before shaking it off. ]

This place is... bad, a lot of the time, but in a way it's really good at making you remember the things that are important to you. I'm kind of grateful for that? Even if it sounds weird.

... It's not weird at all.

That's how life was back home for me, too. A lot of bad, but it — did remind me about what was important.

[He screwed that up a lot, especially after he'd lost his brother — and his mind, in a sense. But he's relearning things he'd lost. Figuring out how to be... healthier. If he can even ever really be mentally healthy again. Some people seem to have hope for him. Dean being one of them, despite everything.]

... Make sure you stick close to the people you've found here, too.

They're really lucky to have you.

Thanks! And you too, Sam. I hope we can talk again soon, when you've got less to worry about.

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